When you’re expecting a baby, everyone talks about the nappies, the sleepless nights, and which pram is best. But there’s one huge part of the journey that doesn’t get talked about enough—especially from a dad’s point of view. Breastfeeding.
Not doing it ourselves, of course—but standing beside the woman we love, supporting her through one of the hardest, most emotional, and incredible things her body will ever do.
This post is for the dads, the partners, the cheerleaders in the background. Here’s a little glimpse into what it felt like for me during the early days of breastfeeding—and the things I wish I’d known before we were in the thick of it.
I had no idea how much I didn’t know.
Before our baby arrived, I assumed breastfeeding was simple. You have a baby, they latch on, and that’s that. Oh, how wrong I was.
No one told me that sometimes a baby won’t latch properly. That it can be painful. That a breast pump might become your new kitchen counter appliance. That milk supply might take time to come in, and when it does, there are leaks, blockages, tears… and triumphs. If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be: Educate yourself, mate. Not just so you can help, but so you can understand what your partner is going through—and why it matters so much to her.
My role? Be her calm in the chaos.
In those early days, my wife cried a lot. Not just from tiredness, but from frustration, pain, self-doubt… and all the hormones no one prepares you for. I didn’t always have the answers (okay—I never did). But I learnt quickly that my job wasn’t to fix it. It was to hold space. To remind her—genuinely—that she was doing an incredible job. Even when it didn’t feel like it.
That one sentence, said often, really did make a difference: "You’re doing amazing." And you know what? She was. And still is.
Nuggets of wisdom came in whispers.
One of the strangest things I noticed was that the most helpful advice came in passing. A nurse at 3am mentioning how to hand express. A midwife who said, “If you need to top up with formula, it’s not failing—it’s feeding.” Those little moments were gold. But I wish someone had handed us that knowledge upfront, in a way that made us feel equipped instead of overwhelmed. Maybe that’s why I’m writing this. For the next dad who needs to hear: it’s okay to feel clueless. You’re not alone.
The early weeks were way harder than I thought.
Waking up every 2–3 hours for feeds was brutal. You can’t quite understand the tiredness until you're there, blinking at the clock in the dark, counting down to the next wake-up. We were both running on empty. And as much as I wished I could take some of the load off her, I realised that support didn’t always mean doing—sometimes it meant being. Being up with her, making tea, rubbing her back while she fed. Holding the baby while she napped. Texting her sweet words at 3am even though we were in the same house.
If I had advice for another dad…
It would be this:
- Tell her she’s amazing, often.
- Be flexible—feeding might look different than you imagined.
- If breastfeeding doesn’t work out, it’s okay. Formula-fed babies are just as loved and just as nourished.
- But if your partner wants to breastfeed, walk every step of that road with her. Even the hard bits. Especially the hard bits.
- Don’t forget you’re a team. What affects her, affects you both.
To the dads who are there in the background—carrying the bags, reheating the coffee, whispering "you’ve got this" when she needs it most—you matter too.
Breastfeeding might not be your personal journey, but it’s your family’s journey. And your presence, love and quiet strength make a world of difference.
📸 Want to capture the beautiful, honest, messy and magical moments of early parenthood?
At Yellow Blossom Photography, I offer Breastfeeding Photoshoots to honour this chapter in your family story. Intimate. Gentle. Real.
Mums and babies… and yes, dads too if you want to step into the frame for a few.
💛 Book your session or find out more here: lisa@yellowblossomphotography.co.uk
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